One of the loneliest parts of pain is trying to explain it.
Especially when the pain is something words cannot fully describe.
I remember one particular sickle cell crisis vividly.
It was one of those overwhelming crises where there was no comfortable position anywhere.
I couldn’t lie down comfortably.
I couldn’t sit comfortably.
I couldn’t stand comfortably.
Every part of my body felt like it was throbbing from the inside out. Even the pain medicines I took did no good.
And then someone who came to help care for me said:
“Try and sleep, you’ll only wear yourself out…”
I know the person meant well.
But pain like that does not allow sleep.
It hijacks your entire body.
Another time, years ago, I was being cared for at home during a severe crisis. A kind woman came to assist my husband in caring for me. I needed to use the bathroom, and my husband was about to back me there, the way he usually did during severe pain episodes.
Then she said:
“No, you can walk now, haba…”
Again, she meant well.
But she could not see the invisible war happening inside my bones.
That day reminded me of something painful but true:
Not everyone will understand your pain.
And sometimes, that misunderstanding becomes another layer of suffering.
Jesus described people this way:
“You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.” — Matthew 13:14
Don’t be this kind of person.
Some people genuinely care but still cannot fully comprehend your pain.
And honestly, sometimes, pain is too deep for explanation.
But this lesson also taught me something important:
When people care for someone living with chronic illness or pain, they must seek understanding intentionally.
Especially caregivers.
Parents.
Spouses.
Doctors.
Nurses.
Friends.
Even Pastors and Employers.
Because in conditions like sickle cell disease, the line between manageable and critical can become dangerously thin.
The Bible says:
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” — Proverbs 4:7
This scripture applies beautifully to caregiving.
Ask questions.
Listen carefully.
Learn continuously.
And when someone says they are in pain, believe them.
Sometimes the best support is not advice.
Not correction.
Not assumptions.
But simply:
“I hear you.”
“How can I help you?”
“I’m here.”
Educational Nugget:
Pain in sickle cell disease varies widely from person to person and even from crisis to crisis. Patients often know their bodies and pain patterns well. Listening to them and involving them in decisions about their care improves outcomes and trust.
Pain2Gain Reflection:
You may not fully understand someone’s pain… but compassion begins when you stop dismissing it.
Next, I’ll be sharing why some of the greatest strengths I discovered in life looked surprisingly small and fragile.
#ThrivingWithSickleCell
